Echoes voices with sharpened hearts,
Steel armors and a black mask. 
With winter’s icy blade that glided
Along my skin, and sliced an opening 
Across my suit of armor. 

Unfaltering, standing tall in the night sky. Under the moon’s wake, 
firmly erected. A minuscule line,
Hardly visible to the naked eye –
The naked self an unfamiliar sight. 

The chilly air pierced my skin, but
Nothing could enter. For the Knights
In heavy armor stood as guards 
At the entrance of my heart.

The skyline was a canvas of infinite specks
of dust that flitted through your imagination
and burned brighter every waking moment 
you breathed in the excitement

The city that created your dreams and
painted your mind. This tough exterior
of steel and fancy lights that illuminated the
barren souls that walked the streets at night

The people that were bound to the charm of the city,
the hope that it emanated, was it just a disguise?
The sinful entertainment that consumed the city’s 
nightlife burned a radiant hole in the canvas

The shatter of the bottle on the asphalt,
fragile lives that sat like roulettes, flickering 
between the rows of towers that defined
the city.

What once was called a city of dreams
was washed away by a blot that
stained the specks of dust,
each a constellation of stars
in its own entirety

soft skin, the touch of your lips on mine
and the sound of a lover’s cry. In the darkness
something was born, in the silence a tremor pierced
the veins. My heart oozed a shimmering, 
bright-red, burgeoning desire, that spread like 
a wildfire in the depths of my being.
Tongues interlocked, skin to skin, 
vibrations of our pulse in close proximity-
Your heart was pumping to the beat of my inhalations,
my breaths commanding your existence. Don’t let go – 
the smell of sea-salt freshness and exuberance I thirst.

in this wandering through the canvas so familiar to me,
and you, sensations exploding in unending lust.

Then,
A jolt to my mind,
eyes snapped open in the blinding light.
it ruptured the precious paintings, tore through 
the canvas that is your body.

In the midnight hour,
you come out again.
In the full moon’s wake,
we exist again.

Do you remember, the middle of September,
The tender touch of leaves that fell among rain
And the glow of the sun’s rays that eclipsed the fear
Brought about by the hollowness of storm’s pain.

The ebb and flow of nature’s very own waves,
Echoed the mechanisms of the core of my being
The vast blue expanse swarmed with a saltiness I could taste
That lingered on my tongue and treaded like a dream.

Was it a new beginning, or a season of decay?
The cool breeze rustled the fallen flowers, 
And they were gone with the wind, just like the day
That descended into a still twilight of lust.

The battle of the sun and rain were no more,
There was only one winner that was even near
And the shimmering moon said, in awe,
Do you remember, remember September?

The sun burst radiantly and shone through the window,
Reflections in all directions, the glass as a barrier,
It cast a small shadow, grey shades of my soul,
Down the abyss of my mind, my heart has no fear.
The soothing sound of breaths, interrupted by a sudden Go!
The voices in my head, screaming the end is near.
Like the wind that raged in the sky last night,
I look to the moon and I wait for the fight.

Had a best friend, then we drifted.
This time every year reminds me of her-
but not just her,
there was a whole lot of us.

We used to be explorers, the whole world was ours.
We ran around and played the games
children were supposed to. And this time
of the year always excited me.

To run by the canal and watch the night sky, while
our parents sat by the house and sipped on wine
as fireworks exploded and I stared in wonder
at the world laid out in front of us. But slowly 
and surely the sparks fizzled and died.

The night was getting late and I hated to leave.
I groaned and ran up to my mother and begged
to stay for just a little while more, stay with my friends.
The clock struck twelve and this time it was time.
Took a sip on her glass of wine in secret.
Enjoyed the thrill, choked on the bitterness. 

I slept on the ride home and 
looked forward to the next time.

The times kept coming, and I kept smiling.
But slowly the cracks had started to form,
within my core and within the surface,
that even when I was in their company
I could not feel the same bliss as before.
I tried to savour each moment, I thought
the past could be repeated. All those nights
I dreamt of my childhood was creeping further
and sinking deeper.

And all of a sudden, the fireworks were no more.
The fancy gatherings were gone, the car was sold.
The connections fizzled out, the relationships crumbled.
I look at the two people who brought me to them,
and saw a reflection that I never dreamt.

Now,
I stare at the screen on my laptop and see 
the words that are forming through the 
mindless musings. The cracks of my body,
the crevices in my head,
I take another shot to numb the heart
and cleanse my soul of the ghost of 
the past. 

That you could live with the mess you made
and shun the ones who loved you before.
The night you pulled the trigger and said
“I’m done”, ran out and never called.
All I could do was take it all in,
and let go of the emotions 
I always held in.

And now that a year’s been dead and gone,
the ghost of your past still lingers on.
What can I do to make this right?
There is a battle in my heart, 
I don’t know if it’s worth 
the fight.

A war that was started between two beings
has morphed into a struggle inside me.
The night I let go of everything I had
was when I felt myself run free.
Now the pain has numbed
my soul. And I have run
out of feelings to 
show.

I still get nightmares of that night –
Except I get them in the day.
It always just comes flooding back with
Just a trigger that can be from
Anything as ordinary as 
watching a scene from a TV show

And it hits me hard,
It kills me slowly.

The sword in my head can’t decide
which way to swing its edge upon
my mind is clouded by demons
that wakes by the stroke of dawn

They run through the blood in my veins
and gnaw at my bones, consuming me
my soul is ripped apart bit by bit
and they said “rest in peace”

The fight is intense, the struggle is real
I reach out for the sword and swing it
at the darkness but all I did was slice
the thin air and as dusk fell upon me
it stabbed my heart

They run through my veins
and they flowed to the earth.

The glistening surf reflected the brilliant rays of light
the sand emanated the radiant heat from the sun
my skin burned with a strange satisfaction

The magic of the waves pulled me towards the water
off with the shades, off with the layers 
sweet vulnerability, attraction in the most curious fashion

In the wholesome bareness my skin touched the water 
and it tingled with an arousing sensation
i couldn’t wrap my mind around this feeling

As I lay floating, my body tossed around by the waves
powerless to the crashing motions, sold to surf
half submerged in the water, ears blocked and shut off to the world

Close your eyes. It’s just you and Nature.
Let the sea do it’s work. 
Just relax… Breathe the lustful salty smell

The wetness on my bare body held me captive
as I remained connected to the wonderful world
an everlasting dream

Then I opened my eyes and the sun blinded me
No longer submerged I could hear the buzzing noise 
I could feel the excitement in the atmosphere
I felt naked
As the water slowly drained away from my skin
It was going further and further away
I couldn’t feel it anymore
No I couldn’t I couldn’t relax 
The hustle and bustle eats at my soul 
I think I need a drink
No I need to cover up
Wrap a towel around me
Wrap it around my mind
Cover it up
Cover up my heart