It’s getting bad again –
I’m going back to the place 
I swore to never again.  
But I keep coming back and  
back to the where it all began, 
and every single time 
I don’t know why 
I even expect something new but I do.
And each breath I inhale into my lungs feels like a hammer that drives into my insides, piercing my heart and piercing my soul. 
I’m looking around for band-aids 
in people but nobody sticks – 
they only get washed off. 
And so I go back to the place 
it all began – again and again – 
peeling off all the inhibitions in my taped-up heart until all that’s left  
is a black hole for you to disappear into.